Negative Associations with Working Mothers?

This is purely hypothetical and something that was discussed in a sociology class. But, I would like to know others ideas.





Why is it that the working mother is portrayed negatively in the media and in also in some social circles? Do you believe that all the stereotyping of working class mothers is true? Why or Why Not?





Do you believe working class mothers are better or worse mothers then their stay home mom counterparts?





Do you believe working mothers really have a choice to work? Why or Why Not?

Negative Associations with Working Mothers?
Hi Answer Girl,





I believe we should not pit the working mothers against the stay-at-home mothers and vice-versa.





They both love their families. They both do what they think is best for their families.





People should do what works for their families and not judge other families. What works for one family might not work for another. Let's not question them on why.





Most mothers have been both at one time or another. Either way, motherhood is a rewarding and at times, demanding job. Let's respect all mothers.





peace,





julie
Reply:Any women who hires someone else to raise their child full time isn't a full time mother. That is where some of the negativity comes from.





Every women has the choice to work or not.


Women can choose a good partner to reproduce with which would allow the family to live on one income. Women can also choose to live a lifestyle that would allow the family to live on one income.





Life is full of choices in America.
Reply:I believe mothers belong with their children, especially until they go to school. Why have children and pay someone else to raise them? Having children is a status symbol, that's why.





Everyone can stay home with their small children, if they choose. It is all about life-style choices. I love my children more than a new car, electronic gadgets, a bigger house, fancy vacations, etc. There will be time for that when they are grown.





My husband and I banked my salary for two years before we had kids. That way, we knew we could afford to live on his salary, and we had some savings. Now, seven years later, my younger son is off to full day Kindergarten next year, and I will get a job then, part time so I can be home in the afternoons, at least until they are a bit older. But then we are a two parent family that lives within our means and planned when to have our children. That helps, too.





I honestly believe just about everyone can stay at home with their children if they choose. Some women don't want to. Being a mother isn't glamorous, and some days it isn't even fun. It is a different kind of challenge and reward than a job. Should those women be thought less of? I am not sure. My heart says yes, but my head says no.





We also (in America) live in a culture that doesn't value children. They aren't welcome in restaurants, anything but perfect behavior is frowned upon, and we try to make them into little adults. Mothers who don't work are frowned upon, too.





P.S. Stay at home dads rock, too.
Reply:They are not portrayed negatively. Quite the contrary, in fact. Look at all the studies and books out there designed solely to make a working mother feel at ease by telling her, "Day care is fine," "Studies show daycare is good for kids," and so forth.





At home moms are portrayed more negatively, in my opinion.





But when it comes down to it, it's just a bunch of petty bitchiness.
Reply:Most households need both incomes and don't have the luxery of either parent staying home. And I have to disagree with "working moms are reflected negatively." I am a working mom and in being so I show my family I love them and want to take care of them by helping provide food shelter and maybe a fun vacation during the summers.And also showing my children hard work is an important character builder. That is a negative thing? I think sitting on my azz collecting welfare would be more of a negative thing, don't you?
Reply:I am actually a stay at home mother/working mother... I stay at home with my little girl all day and work 3 nights a week at a restaurant. I very much enjoy the time that I get to spend with her, and we save so much money. The average cost of childcare here is $600+ a month. My Aunt on the other hand is the "bread winner" of her family so she has my cousin in daycare and my grandmother also has her a good bit of the time. I think that she has sacrificed a lot of much needed time with her and my grandmother is so busy with her every day that she has only seen my baby her great grandchild maybe 3-4 times. I think that my aunt and I are both equally good parents working/stay at home moms, I just get to spend more time with my daughter and she wishes she could.
Reply:I think women can't win in this area. Working mothers feel guilt over not being there everyday for their children, and stay at home moms don't get enough respect for the work they do at home.


why is it no one says anything about working dads? there is no pressure for dads to stay at home and raise the children.





Its funny - women are told to go out, get an education, because you can, you have the right. but then when we try to use our education for a career, and then have children, those same people are saying, oh you're going back to work already?





Like I said - a no-win situation! As a mom (or a dad) you have to be content with the decision you've made, and make sure it works for you.
Reply:I think that making mothers are choosing to work. My cousin is an Doctor. He makes close to half a mllion dollars a year, but yet his wife who is a teacher chooses to work. Their is nothing wrong with this scenrio either. They have a great marriage, but who is to say something is not going to happen and then what. She will be left with a nice settlement, but no job and in our area finding a teaching job is hard enough as it is.


There is also the Stay at Home Mom who is married to the Doctor or Lawyer who can afford to hire a nanny etc.. These are the moms who give the public the illusion that Stay at Home Parents do nothing. They drive up to Starbucks in their Range Rover, talk on their cell phone in line, head for their manicure and than to lunch with the ladies. That is not reality for most parents who stay at home. It is hard work and it should not be looked down upon. I have stayed at home with my daughter for the past eight months; while my wife has gone back to work. I recently got a job offer and am going back to work in a few weeks. So I know how hard it is for the typical parent to manage a child, cleaning, cooking etc..





For parents who work, their is nothing wrong with it. Both my wife and I have great careers, and not that we put our careers in front of our child but our careers are what is going to give our child a nice life. Not that material objects are the world and not that someone who makes minimum wage isnt a great parent but what I am saying is we can set her up with a nice college fun, give her a nice home to grow up in etc..





I know many Stay at Home Parents think working parents are horrible for leaving their child in daycare. The reality is that if you shop around for a daycare there are a lot of great daycares; and there are also a lot of bad ones.
Reply:I worked until my now 3 year old son was 13 months. After giving birth to my now 2 year old-I decided to stay home because 1. I wanted to and 2. It made no financial sense to work due to the high cost of daycare.


So, I can say from being a working mother-I did not feel that anyone looked upon me negatively. Personally, I feel that I am looked upon negatively in some circles for being a SAHM. I believe that whether you decide to be a SAHM or a working mother-someone is always going to have something bad to say depending on who you ask.





Are working class mothers better or worse or do working mothers have a choice to work...those are very difficult questions! Personally, my husband and I chose to work 7 days a week for one year (and this was while I was pregnant with my second son) so that we could build a house in the country where we could afford to live on one salary and provide a better life for our children. It was an amazingly difficult year-but now, even though things are really tight-we are making it (and have a bigger house plus land). I think that when you have a child, you are at a crossroads in life. I think if you make certain choices-you can stay home but and this is a big but-there are other situations that no matter what-financially you cannot lose one income. Every family is different. I run a playgroup and I do not judge the working mothers because I have been there and could go back to working part time in the future-it depends on my children and their needs.





We could have a lot more if I worked (I made more $$ than my husband) but our choice is for me to be home. My children have to go to speech and occupational therapy most days-so this ended up being the only choice for us after all-but was not the reason that I quit initially.





I think that if you can figure out a way to stay home-it is best-but that is not always feasible. Everyone does the best that they can-we all love our kids bottom line and try to do the best for them.
Reply:To start with, I have actually found that stay at home mothers are portrayed more negatively than working mothers. For example, on the Today Show, women who chose to stay at home with their children were noted as being less than ambitious since they never went out and got an education and tried to "better" themselves.





I don't think that a stay at home mother is any better a mother than a working class mother, but I do believe that a stay at home mother can provide what her children need most: their mother constantly with them. Of course, working mothers would disagree, saying that they are providing a secure financial future for their children, and that that is more important.





I completely believe that working mothers have a choice to work. There is ALWAYS a solution to stay at home. It is all relative as to what you absolutely need to survive. To some, poverty is cutting out cable TV or a cell phone, or having only 1 car. To others, who put children over identity and work, poverty is having nothing to eat. You can always find something to eat and have a roof over your head if you search for it. In the United States, you won't be homeless if you look for help. Children don't need more than love, and instruction, and a roof over their heads and food.
Reply:Ok, here is my opinion on the subject. Some women just prefer to work or some just have to. It is not something negative. We live in a society that is so expensive that it is difficult these days for there to be only one incoming salary. I myself, have been a stay at home mom since my son was born 12 years ago. It was a choice I made not only because I wanted to be the one to raise my kids, but because I could not afford daycare and family was not willing to help when I needed it. Because a mom stays at home rather than working doesn't necessarily make her a better mother. And just because a mother works does not make her neglectful of her children. I think in society, it is deemed that the mother raise the children, which is why sometimes it is looked down on when a mother decides to work, especially when kids are still young. I believe all mothers have the choice whether to work or not. It depends on their situation and if they can afford to stay home, or if they can afford to work and pay childcare. Sometimes it is not worth it to work if you are working part time and paying someone part time to watch your kids. If you hypothetically make $10 an hour and the babysitter gets $6, where is the profit for you if you work let's just say even 20 hours per week. And let's not forget taking taxes out of pay as well as childcare. I would love to go back to work at least part time, but when it comes to holidays and times off, there is no one who is willing to watch my kids (family) and I can't afford to pay a babysitter, so I stay home and we just try to live within our means. What others choose to do is their choice.


P.S. - I am a firm believer that being a stay at home mom is a full time job, and therefore, should be a paid job. At some point, I wish someone would see that it is not all fun and games and can be rather exhausting, especially when little ones are young.
Reply:Working Mothers, think us stay at home moms are in the dark ages. I'm educated but chose to stay at home. I hate being told I'm fortunate to be able to do so, I say that working moms are lucky they can afford daycare b/c when I did the math 6 yrs ago, we'd be $400 ahead a month that wasn't worth missing out on our children. For some that's a price tag they deem worthy enough. I don't. It's personal choice I'd have to say that it's the stay at home moms who get portrayed negatively! They do have a choice, depending on location and status but it's all choice. You can always move and down size ---it is a choice and anyone saying otherwise is just being guilt ridden.
Reply:i don't think they are portrayed negatively most of the mothers in the U.S. are working mothers very ferw stay at home and raise their children anymore. i make a choice not to work. i have 3 children so by the time childcare was paid for it would leave me with very little. my husband works 70 hours a week and we do sacrifice some things for me to be able to stay home. i hate when people say you are so fortunate to be able to stay home. No we sacrifice for me to be able to stay home, because that is what is important to us. i don't judge women who do go to work though to each their own.
Reply:there are people who want to work and there are some women that have to help. there are some that would love to stay home and there are some that would rather work. there are woman who work and men stay home. it all depends and yes you are right women are discussed as being talked down about this has been going on since the beginning of time remember we had prohibition and it was finally they were going to vote and there are slowly things being changed but its hard. the third world countries are still with their main stay thinking. its hard to get men to admit there is equals here some do and some don't'. someday we hope the media will change their attitudes but it will be long way. right now we have woman wanting to be president and i don't' see it in the cards and i am sure she is qualified but no one wants her why they feel she could lead the country wrong that is way of thinking old way. so we have to change some mothers do have choice to work i did and loved it and retired after 20 years some people don't' retire till they are 70 or near 80 cause they feel they don't' have enough. its sad how you see people ruining and running all their lives but its there why i am not sure why. but i do know this women have fought long and hard for many years ou t of the 20's and we'll eventually come out in top at least here but not in third world countries for many centuries. take care
Reply:I think it's only a select few that think working moms are not good mothers. (many of which are a particular varity of sahm's)





some women choose to work, some HAVE to work. the economy isn't good now, especially where i live, and every mother i know that isn't married to a guy that works 60 hours a week at a rare good job HAS to work to put food on the table. (i only know one of those). there are many extenuating cirucmstances, and having children is not a "status symbol" but a reality for many. almost everyone i know didn't plan their children and are doing the best they can for them in their personal situation. oh, and none of these people are living "high on the hog" btw, many are on food stamps and work full time, along with thier partners, have one old car, and barely make ends meet. housing is insane here, studio apartment rents for at LEAST $700 a month! i have to go back to work after i have my baby, and we don't have cable, internet (i'm not home now), car payments, a phone, garbage service, we don't go out to eat, we've never taken a vacation (well, two nights in a neighboring town when we got married), we have a house under 900 sq ft, we don't have any luxurious expenses. heck, i haven't even gotten a new pair of shoes in over 2 yrs!





oh, %26amp; btw, just because a woman works does not mean her child is in day care the whole time. not that day care is evil, but it's usually assumed.





working or sahm's can be either good or bad mothers. it isn't dependant on whether or not the woman works, but that she does the best she can with what she has.