Muslims: A little debate about sex before marriage?

before I begin, let me just say I myself am a Muslim, so no-one take this the wrong way.


The Qur'an instructs us to be virgins before marriage. Fair enough. But if you look at the standards of today's society, the social pressure, the media pressure, the peer pressure etc, how many teenage Muslims have thoughts of pre-marital relations running through their heads at some point int heir lives?


It is also natural. Around teenage years, your hormones go crazy and it is also the time when the female body is most fertile, so your body is basically telling you every second to go get preggers.


Masturbation is also forbidden in the Qur'an. But take an example of a young Muslim girl or boy. All their friends are having sex, and try as they might, they can't stop thinking what it might feel like. So they might begin masturbating. yet that is also a sin. is pre-marital sex or masturbation a larger sin?


And as long as the teenager is sensible about it, uses contraception etc, what would be

Muslims: A little debate about sex before marriage?
The solution seems to be to take, a la the prophet himself, 15-year-old French males out on the sand dunes. Is that before or after the camels object?





ADDENDUM





"if they do that, they're not actually Muslims."





According to you, then, there are not many Muslims in the world, once this type and all the "non-Muslim" terrorists are removed from the pool. Sorry, but if it walks like a duck, ...
Reply:I acually dont believe in pre marital sex but I do believe in sexual curiosity and exploration. The thing is though knowing when it is right. Alot of religions say that the time is after marriage but I do not think that can be dictated. When the time is right for you then its the time. You have to also consider that the time these rules on sex and marriage were created the women in the relationship were MUCH younger. I mean as soon as they started their period they were married off.


Also considering what constitutes as a real marriage now a days. A lot of marriages are falling apart not because of swociety pressures but the newer acceptance of divorce and more than one marriage. In years before a divorced woman was considered an outcast, now she is considered a liberated person that believes in independence. Not that divorce is bad but I hate how easily people are getting into the mindset that a marriage is a brief relationship that can be ended easily by divorce. A committed relationship with willing partners can now, I believe, be considered a marriage even if vows are not exchanged.


I would not be worring whether one sin is worse than the other. Just trying to live a life close to what the Qur'an wants can be a challange in itself.


What I am saying is pick the right person, or the closest you can get to right, and know what you are doing and all is consequences then take the steps to make sure you are safe through it all. And don't try to let others rule your decisions. wait until you are ready, not by whether or not your friends are.


Peace be with you.
Reply:i am a teenager as well as a muslim i also had so called pre sexutal temptation . Y because i used to see p movies talks with friends about this but now i dont because i avoid movies , i dont watch music , i dont talk about this. how i did achieve . I started to do my 5 prayers in time i read quran i know the guidance of god . Now i have a god consious that god is watching my deeds and one day i have to answer on day of judgment


Quran gives how to avoid this problem refer surat c24 v30


And birth in a muslim family will not make a person muslim


Muslim is a person who submits his will to allah if u do pre sexual ur not muslim
Reply:No comments, Muslims must pray 5 times a day, Inshallah, all sexual urges will be controlled. That is the only answer by being a true Muslim. Pray 5 times, pray pray pray.
Reply:The problem: what happens when an unmarried girl gets pregnant, or STD's are spread? You have to think realistically, non-Muslims are rarely sensible about protection and contraception even among the most educated and well-off, why would you expect that all the Muslims would do the same?





There's a reason that fornication is forbidden (while masturbation is not, but is also not recommended for it's own reasons), and if you want to understand why, just look at the world around you. How many countries are free of STD's? Even Muslim countries aren't totally free!! How many countries suffer from single-parent families, and what results from single-parent families?





IMHO, what you're saying is equivalent to asking why adultery is forbidden. I mean, if everyone uses contraception, why wouldn't it be okay... especially since we all know that it crosses almost everyone's mind at some point what it would be like with a different person.





Curiosity is human nature, as is desire. That's a benefit of getting married. You can satisfy both without being questioned or scrutinized.





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Gnostic: how did Muslims "solve that" if it occurred for generations and generations and generations before Islam was ever a possibility?
Reply:Its not about religion. try having a different perception my dear. If two people agree to have sex then there is nothing wrong in it, whther they are muslim or buddhist, or whatever. Live on your own rules not on compulsion. Do what you feel is correct and let others do what they feel is correct. Ones faith and belief is ones own. If you are born as a muslim and dont believe in Allah then you also shouldnt be forced to believe.


So LIVE AND LET LIVE.
Reply:i am not a Muslim so do not take my answer seriously, i could give you a million answers for this question, it was seriously interesting to know about many things about Islam through you today, as you said I believe it all depends upon the kind of environment you grow up in, we are Human beings after all, we all have needs, do not worry, i don't think any God would not be so un-understanding, I am sure these were stuff that came much later on..imposed by people who thought they were the heart and soul of the religion and imposed their views on religion.
Reply:Being a Muslim is all about submitting to God. So if you are a Muslim, then you know that it is your duty to give up your desires to please God. Being a Muslim requires a lot of self control. Muslims are not to worry about what their friends are doing. If your friend jumped off a cliff would you? Being a Muslim teenager growing up in the UK myself, I feel no pressure to have sex before marriage because I love God more than sex.
Reply:You r saying I'm Muslim and you r asking many questions indicating that you got Islam from father or mother and you do not know any thing about Islam .When you truly praying you will be away from all these dirty things.


Some questions may harm you.
Reply:Well, if you follow Muhammed's example, girls don't have to worry about it, since they get deflowered before their hormones kick in at puberty.
Reply:Early Muslims had solved that problem by marrying young girls to old men before their hormones go crazy.


I know the feeling my dear but God gave us a strong will to conquer our lusts. Sex can be very beautiful if it's done in true love and blessed by Marriage.

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